sad...

I am what you never wanted ... but just had to try out...

Piercings

My Industrial bar is new, it's swirly!
The piercing itself is old though.
There is also my stretched hole on this ear.
6-gage







This is my newest piercing, it is my anti-tragus.
I also have my ear stretched to 6-gage

Cure

Cure for the pain
Pain for the cure
Its a lost cause
The search is over
We're over and done
Filled and drained
Thought of and forgotten
We gain friends
And lose friends
We find answers
And gain Questions
Who are you to say Im not me?
You dont even know me...

This is my cure for the pain
That results in Pain for the cure

lost

is there a way of turning back?
becauuse i don't want to be livin` like this anymore.-

Crystal.Danica && crushed && 19 && wishing nothing happened && dying inside && tired of hiding my pain
-------------------------------------------------- -(+)---------
... and im living my life the opposite of what i wanted it to be. I dont know how it
got this bad. I never really realized that I was blind for all this time... so fucking
confusing. Got to wake up and pay attention. -
--------------(+)----------------------------------------------
the true few .. *
Kristi, Filicia, Krystal
they keep me standing when i'm about to fall down.
walk it out.. *

I will be waiting

I will be waiting for you when you walk away
I will be waiting in the pouring rain
I will be waiting when you don't speak my name
I will be waiting out in the freezing cold
I will be waiting when you forget my presence
I will be waiting when you regret knowing me
I will be waiting when you realise im here
I will be waiting always, very near..
Hidden in the shadows there i will be
Patiently waiting for you to someday just see
The person that I am and the dreams that I have
I'll be there when you realise i'm all you have
So, please don't forget who I am inside

Or that I will be waiting, with nothing to hide.

The mystery

The mystery of the mind unfolds itself,
Feelings never felt before are thrust upon the table.
Unavoidable glances and stale stares follow my every move.
The romance bug, it's a little funny,
One thing I have never learned how to deal with.
But beyond that now, it leads to even more..
Why fiddle about the little things?
Let's just keep this fun and simple.
I like a bit of light-hearted fun from time to time.
So lets bring back those feelings,
That were so unstrategically thrust upon the table,
And keep them at bay a little while longer.
No need to rush, A flame like this doesn't die fast.
Oh what a day, Oh what a night.
The mystery of the mind stays hidden.

Dream

is it sad to admit that what I thought was wasn't
is it really that hard to see the truth behind the words
what once was felt never left.. it lingered in silence
now it scratches at every glimpse of light
waiting to be let out of the darkness of hiding

The feelings of pain were never real
The feelings of loss were just a mask
I never lost what was there

It's sad to know that I still feel this way
I thought things would change
But I guess this is never really that easy

Dream

The dream of another day another world another time
A new beginning the smell of fresh dew
A part of a heart beating to the rythym of the buzzing
Flashing apart of the safety beneath
Twinkling in the daylight of a true reach
To begin a new savior to begin a new song
They must believe in a true harmony
And learn to travel alone

Ohh..

I would climb into the skies to be with you.
If I were a painter, I would make the perfect scenery for me and you.
Oh, I think about you every night.
You make a song in my mind.
So you know, I will be yours.
This tune has been playing all along.
All I need is your heart
beating against mine.
Were your arms are wrapped around me.
Now you know... Now you know...

I strongly dislike titles

I had a boyfriend for a couple years, his name was Zy. His picture is in one of my other blogs. Times with him were good, but not great. We ended and moved on quite well... though I tried to make myself believe I was in love with him, I wasn't. I had a few boyfriends since then, and one specifically sticks out in my mind.
He was sweet, funny, absent-minded, totally clueless, shy, and completely absorbed in his friends. I accepted all aspects of who he was, my mistake was making him feel like I didn't. He is constantly on my mind still, I get all dreamy when I look at him, and I can still picture spending a very long time with him. Fact is.. he wasn't ready to be with someone... I guess it would just be nice to find someone exactly like him but who wants to be with me...
I know it's never gunna happen.. And I know writing this was virtually pointless, but atleast it made me feel a bit better.

Ouch

Sliding the knife along my neck almost makes me feel alive.
Like I am being punished for being a bad person.
I don't deserve to be here... I think I should go.
The razor spills more blood, I feel weak.
I wish I could join my father on the other side.
Even the pills won't take me in.
Nothing wants me to leave.
But I want to go..
Why can't I just leave?

My father.

I love my father very much, and i miss him every second. It's never going to get better. I always think of what he missed... I am trying my hardest to live my life and a little extra so the thought of him living on is always a comfort in my mind. He died young... its wrong... but in the end, he lives on, through me. I love you Daddy.

Today

Well, I sure haven't been on this account in a long time. Alot has changes with this sight too!! I even forgot my password!! Soon i will get to updating everything.. but for now this will do. It is rainging today, It's beautiful, its been soo hot lately that i thought i was gunna fall over and die... ok .. maybe not die.. but it was still really hot!! Well, i started working out last Thursday, I go every morning at about 6:30 or so.. I love it! It makes me feel so good.. though i need to remember to stretch! I have a personal trainer too!! She's amazing, really nice! Her name is Rachelle, and you can tell she knows what she's doing! Well, I guess im going to go look up some other of my old profiles and update them too lol!!

My Narrative Poem

Staring eyes watch my every move
Because of this I don't know what to prove
She is trembling on the damp cold floor
Cowering like a stupid cheap whore
Hiding alone in the dark dark abyss
Nothing is left now, except for my kiss
Which is what I can tenderly embrace
As my scraggly hair entraps my face
My dark dark meaningless and watchful eyes
Stare at her regretfully as she lies
And in the far corner of the room
I beat her with a broken broom
Now as I walk away to the next exit
I promise myself I won't forget it
All the lies, deceit, and harsh betrayal
Things that all helped cause her look so frail.

By- Crystal Hunt

---> Yes, I know it sounds sick (my mom said it does) but this was hard to write and i'm proud of how it turned out...Its meant to sound like i am a male and this is me talking...but i am very much female, i just needed to do it from someone else's point of view. Which is hard to do...anyways...enjoy..lol

Empty

Sleepless nights and constant worries
Things are going by in such a hurry
I'm lost to the world around me
Digging my own grave
I can't make sense of these things
In which I've come to hate
Trust, minimal to me right now
Lust, gone to my touch
Love, lost in my heart
Tears, streaming down my face
I think I'm lost to this world around me
But does it even matter anymore....

Creativity

I say, do creative people get inspired by anything and everything all the time? Is it that easy? I thought i was creative until i had soo much being expected of me...now i can't think. It's not good. I don't feel like im creative anymore...My writing teacher expects me to come up with a new peace of creative writing everyday...im sorry i dont work well under pressure...Is that bad? Oh man im really not feeling too great lately... Inspiration minimal on the things that matter most...

OH OH I forgot!!

Ok...for anyone who cares, or anyone who wants to know me and a little more of who I am, go to my website... http://mydarkangelforever.piczo.com or my msn space... http://spaces.msn.com/members/blue-eye666/PersonalSpace.aspx?owner=1 and i think that is all anyone would want to see :P:P ok ok just kidding just kidding...anyways ttyl bye bye for now!!

Some recent pictures of mwuah

Ok so this is me!! lol ... I can't find any recent pictures of my mom or my brother on the computer but I will try to get that done ASAP!! The one of me sitting in a tree was taken at McArthur park here, by my best friend Aaron. The reddish picture is me and my boyfriend Zy. And don't worry Koren, I finished a letter and i'm getting mom to send it ASAP. lol...ttyl Luvz

Urg!!!

Well, frustration has hit!! The stupid learner's test for my license was ridiculous!! Why are they telling me what i should say to people when they are speeding? can't I use my own words? Like come on... and could a gust of wind seriously blow a motorcyclist into my lane? I mean come on, that test was sooo....irritating. Uggh...Then I go to a bookstore to get credit for the books i don't need and they won't take them because they have to many...Well i'm sorry geez...that's not my fault...Anyways, I'm just being too picky right now so oh well...

Fairies

Peaceful
Silent
Joyful
Mysterious
Beautiful
All that I feel right now...